Kandy Fritch is a Platinum #IAmRemarkable Facilitator, a highly accomplished Customer Success and Client Relations Manager, and the proud parent of a transgender son. Kandy is driven by a deep commitment to empathy, connection, and creating environments where people feel truly supported.
Tell us a bit about yourself!
Professionally, I am a Customer Success and Client Relations Manager who fosters strong relationships between enterprise clients and internal teams to enhance the customer experience. I am also very proud to be a Platinum Tier #IAmRemarkable Facilitator, hosting workshops to empower underrepresented groups to speak openly and own their success stories.
On a personal level, I have been the parent of a child that identified as gay for about 12 years, who then identified as Trans about 3 years ago. I have always been quite the “Mama Bear” for anyone in the LGBTQ+ community, and I find my urge to protect them grows stronger over time!
When a child comes out, not all parents find it easy to accept. Did you ever experience moments of hesitation or fear, and how did you move past them? When my child came out as gay, his first words were “but I’m not trans or anything!” I blew a big sigh of relief. Then I called a friend who is gay and told him I was freaked out because I didn’t know how to parent a gay child. He laughed and said it is the same as parenting a cis child.
When my son came out as trans to me at first, I completely panicked. I had an overwhelming fear of what this world would do to him, and an even bigger fear that my very conservative husband would make me choose between them. He did not and loves our son as much today as he did when he identified as our daughter.
For me, moving past my own fears and putting Dom first was really about trust. Trusting Dom to let me know what he needed and to chart his own path. I let him lead. I always asked if he wanted me to step in, but the decision is always his.
What does active support actually look like on a daily basis, beyond just saying "I love you"?
Active support looks like a lot of different things. Again, I let Dom lead the journey. He chooses who he is out to and who he is not, and I support that choice. I’ve made sure those in my life know that if I ever have to choose, I will choose the human I gave birth to over anyone else.
In addition, we treat each other with trust and respect. Dom is my best source of honest answers to ALL of my questions. He knows I am learning and educating myself, and he knows that some of it still makes me uncomfortable. By being fully honest with each other, we are both learning from each other.
How did you handle outside noise or negative reactions while ensuring your home remained a safe haven for your child?
I always offered to step in and protect if needed or wanted, but mostly, I let him run the show. I also modeled what I thought “good” trans-parent behavior should be.
A friend of Dom’s was outed by a sibling right before Christmas several years ago. They were disowned and kicked out of the house. I unofficially became their mom and sent them Christmas presents. I feel very strongly that no one should lose a parent or friend because they were born to love a bit differently than what society expects.
In what ways do you think the #IAmRemarkable workshop can help support LGBTQ+ youth and their families who may be on similar journeys?
The #IAmRemarkable community is such an amazing place to share, grow, and support one another. The workshops can support by providing a safe place to remember how amazing we all are and to gain strength and community to support each other when we need it.
I feel very strongly that no one should lose a parent or friend because they were born to love a bit differently than what society expects.
Kandy Fritch
